Vermont: The Situation Comedy
by Clio1792
Summary: "Somewhere, in another life, in another reality, you and I are married, and we have four kids, and we live in Vermont and I'm the mayor and ...you make jam...". What if Scandal were a 1980s-style family situation comedy, rather than a drama?
1. Chapter 1

**"Somewhere, in another life, in another reality, you and I are married, and we have four kids, and we live in Vermont and I'm the mayor and ...you make jam...".**

What if _Scandal_ were a 1980s-style family situation comedy, rather than a drama?

The text below is my script for the sit-com pilot. Have a look, and tell me if you think it should be optioned, or remain on the summer slush pile!

I don't own_ Scandal_, which is the exclusive property and creative achievement of Shonda Rhimes and the talented writers of Shondaland.

As always, this author is grateful for all readers and comments, negative and positive.

**Scene One: "He's My Frat Boy"**

_While theme music of Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell singing "You're All I Need to Get By" plays, the pilot episode titles open with a panning shot of a New England town on a sunny autumn afternoon. _

_This is Hallingford, Vermont; population, 150.000: a classic New England town with a mixed industrial and agrarian economic base; a local arts community (specialties are glass works and carpentry); a restaurant and artisan food services sector dependent upon a network of small farmers in the surrounding countryside; a local hospital, a local hotel, and "Vermont University," which boasts an applied arts program in interior decorating; a first-class liberal arts faculty; and a law school. _

_The camera speeds by the mixture of modern and Victorian homes that line Hallingford's streets, glowing with autumn foliage. While the music continues, the camera passes a number of local landmarks viewers will come to know: Hallingford's City Hall; Hallingford courthouse; the local police station; and Abby's Sweet Shop, a popular bakery/café/hangout. _

_As the names of various members of the cast are shown on screen, the camera continues past the most densely populated areas of the city, until it centers and circles upon a residence of unique, modern design a few miles outside the city. This, as we will see, is the home of Mayor Fitzgerald Grant III; his wife, Olivia Pope-Grant; and their four children: Nicole; Curtis; Kendrick; and Aleta. It is a house somewhat above the means of a couple who met, married, and started their family while they were still commuting between law and graduate school; but, as we will hear, the land was bought and built with a legacy left to Fitzgerald by his late mother, Martha Garrison, who came from an old, wealthy, California family. _

_As the music continues, the camera enters through wide glass sliding doors and fixes, briefly, on a series of pictures displayed on top of a living room piano, and in an inset bookshelf to the side of a fireplace along the right side of a large living room. The assembly of photographs furnish us with a history of the couple in pictures: Fitz and Olivia on their wedding day (Fitz in a suit and Olivia in a long, simple white dress, laughing together in front of an uncut wedding cake); a picture of a somewhat younger Fitz in an U.S. Navy Uniform; Olivia, hugely pregnant, in her graduation robe from Georgetown Law School; Fitz in a Harvard Graduation robe, celebrating the day he received his PhD/JD at Harvard Law School and the Harvard Department of Government—in this photo, Fitz has one arm around Olivia, who is holding their eldest daughter, Nicole Martha, who was about a year old at the time; a picture of Fitz and Olivia in front of the Capitol Building in Washington,D.C., standing with Nicole, now about ten, and their twin boys, Curtis William and Kendall Elijah, when the boys were about three years old; a more recent, Christmas picture of Fitz and Olivia in front of the fireplace in the house the camera has led us to, with Nicole, now fifteen; Kendall and Curtis, now eight; and their youngest daughter, five- year old Aleta Maya; a picture of Fitz in a framed newspaper clipping, heralding "Hallingford's newest mayor!", and finally, a picture of Fitz and Olivia seated at a restaurant table beneath a group of balloons that read "Happy Anniversary," and "15 years!"_

_The camera pulls back to survey the living room, which is sunny, illuminated by large sliding glass doors that lead out onto a patio and a huge lawn on one side of the room, while the room itself, which has a high, triangular ceiling, is furnished with a mixture of Arts and Crafts and more contemporary pieces. There is the aforementioned grand piano; a large family sofa; two comfortable armchairs, one a classic nineteenth-century chair, the other a more modern square chair with deep cushions. In front of the sofa is a coffee table with newspapers and books scattered across it. The floors are hardwood, with a large carpet with a Native American pattern on the floor closer to the fireplace and the back sliding doors. Across from the fireplace and the furniture arrangement is a dining table, with an ornate cabinet for dishes, and, in the corner adjoining the sliding door, a computer work station. _

_On the other side of the first floor, receding behind the fireplace and the bookcase to the right, there is a stone and wood staircase going upstairs. The staircase leads to a balcony hallway off which are bedroom doors for the children and a master bedroom above the front door. There are long shelves of books along the hallway between the staircase and the fire-place mid-stage right. The front door is to the far right of the bookshelves and the staircase._

_Off stage left, beyond the dining table, is the entrance to a dazzlingly white and silver kitchen, with a large round table, and windows looking out into an adjoining greenhouse over a sink. There is a marble countertop, and a state-of –the-art stove and refrigerator visible back stage left center. _

_As the music fades, we see that a flat-screen television on a rolling cart has been moved forward from the left side of the fireplace to accommodate the viewing of a little girl, who is sitting against one arm of the sofa nearly drowned by surrounding sofa cushions as she stares at the television in rapt attention. _

_This is five year old Aleta Maya Grant, and she is watching "Sesame Street" on a Friday afternoon in mid-October, after her fourth full week of kindergarten. _

_Arranged across the nearby dining table are various textbooks, notebooks, and a large, empty, plastic bowl. The owners of the notebooks and textbooks, eight-year-old Kendall Elijah Grant, and his fraternal twin brother, bespectacled Curtis William Grant, are standing against the sliding glass doors, their noses pressed against the glass; their eyes glued to the outside lawn as they stare in fascination at Huck Finn, recently hired as the new gardener and manager of the Pope-Grant property. Huck is mowing the lawn. _

_The camera shifts upstairs to show Olivia Carolyn Grant Pope-Grant walking briskly along the balcony as she observes her sons' absence from the table below. We see her come quickly down the stairs leading into the corridor stage right that leads to the living room, wearing a pair of tight jeans, and a large man's shirt, her hair tied back in a bun._

_As Olivia enters the living room, she is in scolding, management mode, focused upon the challenge of keeping her two sons on task:_

OLIVA  
Kendall Elijah! Curtis William! Let Mr. Finn do his job! You are doing your homework!

Don't let me catch you leaning against that window again until you've shown me those math problems!

_The boys scramble away from the window and dash back to the dining table to return to their despised math homework. _

OLIVIA:

_Olivia gives her sons a wry look as she walks over to the table where her sons are now sitting obediently, and picks up the large empty plastic bowl:_

Would another round of popcorn ease the pain of finishing your Mathematics homework?

KENDALL:

Yes, Please, Mom!

CURTIS:

Yes, Please, Mom!

OLIVIA:

All right then, gentlemen; coming right up.

_With plastic bowl in hand, Olivia walks toward the sofa and peers down at Aleta, smiling at her daughter. She gestures to an empty plate on the coffee table near where her daughter is sitting._

OLIVIA  
Can you hand me that plate, sweetie?

_Aleta, barely tearing her eyes from the television set, leans forward and takes up a plastic plate with a Minnie Mouse pattern and hands it back to her mother._

OLIVIA  
Thank you so much, sweet pea! Do you want anything else?

ALETA  
_In a commanding tone_  
MORE APPLE SLICES!

OLIVIA

_Eyeing her daughter sternly_

Would you care to rephrase that?

ALETA

_More meekly_

May I have more apple slices, Mommy?

OLIVIA

_In an approving tone_

That's better!

_Olivia sighs _

You can have a few more, Honey, but not too many...I have to save them for the apple butter I'm making for Sunday's country fair...

_Olivia takes the plate and the plastic bowl and walks toward the kitchen, muttering under her breath:_

Why I agreed to do this I do. not. know...

_We see Olivia enter the palatial kitchen, where she takes a bag of popcorn from a cupboard, places the package inside a microwave machine, and pushes buttons. Next, Olivia walks toward the stove, where there is huge pot of cut apples soaking in water. Olivia picks up a ladle by the side of the pot, and is about scoop a few more cut apples onto her daughter's plate when a cellular telephone lying on the kitchen counter vibrates and rings. _

_Olivia puts down the ladle and walks over to look at the number on the phone. She smiles gently at the telephone, presses the call button and puts the phone to her ear._

OLIVIA  
Hi.

_The camera now slices to Olivia's husband, Fitzgerald Grant III, who is in his Mayor's office, a white neo-colonial room with a large desk, mostly-uncomfortable classic furnishings, and white walls and ceilings. Fitz is sitting behind his desk, surrounded by papers._

FITZGERALD  
Hi.

OLIVIA

Why did you call?

FITZGERALD

_He leans back, settling comfortably into his office chair, and puts his feet up on his desk._

Can't a man call his wife in the middle of the day?

OLIVIA

You are hovering.

FITZGERALD

I am not hovering.

OLIVIA

_Sighing, and placing her tongue firmly in her cheek._

O.K. You are not hovering.

_She pauses, significantly._

It's just a_ coincidence_ that a police car has driven by our house three times in the last hour.

FITZGERALD

_A bit petulantly, and defensively_

I just want to make sure that you are safe….

OLIVIA

_In a scolding tone_

Fitz! We agreed that if you were going to promote this "Second Chance" Program , the mayor's family had to set an example-we had to lead the way by hiring someone who had been in prison to work in our home, too! So Huck is here for the third day in a row, and he's outside mowing the lawn, and everything is _fine…_

FITZGERALD

_He is still defensive_

I'm sure everything is fine, but…

OLIVIA

_In full-frontal, forceful idealist mode_

But what? It's not going to help this poor man make a transition to life outside of prison if he can see Captain Ballard's "boys" driving by to check up on him every twenty minutes…He's going to know you don't trust him, and that will entirely defeat the purpose of this program…

FITZGERALD

_Lamely_

But…I just wanted to make sure…_pauses _…

OLIVIA

_Scolding_

We are supposed to be setting an example!

FITZGERALD

_Attempting to defend himself against his wife's disapproval_

I asked Cyrus to check Huck's record with the Vermont Department of Corrections…He's got a Federal rap sheet, Livvie, as well as state offenses…He used to be a….

OLIVIA

_Interrupting him_

Fitz! Don't tell me what he did! I don't want to know…

_We see Fitzgerald furrowing his brow. He decides to take a different tack._

FITZGERALD

How is Huck getting along with the children?

OLIVIA

_She looks out the window as she speaks on the phone and smiles_

Well… the twins worship the ground he walks on.

FITZGERALD

_Guffaws and then smiles indulgently._

Really?

OLIVIA

Really. They are fascinated by his gardening equipment. They keep running over to the window to watch him work. _Smiles ruefully into the phone. _I had to shoo them away twice because they haven't finished their homework and they got home from school an hour ago. I'm going to need to check on them again shortly….

_Pauses and shouts_

YOU BOYS BETTER BE DOING THOSE MATH PROBLEMS IF YOU WANT MORE POPCORN!

FITZGERALD

_Laughs_

They are just fascinated by anything that whirrs and slices.

OLIVIA

_Retorts_

Well, that may be true, but they also like Huck. He's quiet. He's intrepid. They think he's wise and mysterious.

FITZGERALD

_Smiling _

I don't think they are far wrong about that. And Aleta?

OLIVIA

Aleta adores Huck, too…He started out by trimming the hedges around the orchard earlier this afternoon. She trailed him around as soon as she got home from kindergarten, picking rotten apples off the ground, and holding them up to show him.

_Grimaces _

I had to change her clothes. They were completely filthy by the time I got her inside, and she came in tracking dirt and apple juice all over the living room.

FITZGERALD

_Laughing_

So the only one of our children who hasn't lost their heart to Huck is Nicole…

OLIVIA

_Snorts._

Your eldest daughter isn't interested in anything that doesn't have a designer label.

FITZGERALD

_Laughing_

She takes after her mother!

OLIVIA

_Looking mildly offended_

Excuse me? I haven't worn designer clothes since I gave up my law practice.

_There is a look of sadness on her face, that she is clearly trying to make light of so that Fitz won't notice_

My fashion sense is…on hiatus.

FITZGERALD

_Smiling suggestively_

Really? _His voice lowers to a more intimate tone._

What are you wearing?

OLIVIA

_Smiling as she scolds again_

Fitz! We are _not _doing this with your children in the next room…your youngest daughter is watching _Sesame Street_!

FITZGERALD

There's a wall between you and them, isn't there?

OLIVIA

They are all in the living room, waiting for me to return with snacks….

FITZGERALD

If the boys are doing their homework, and Aleta is watching _Sesame Street_, she's not paying attention to what you say on the phone…

OLIVIA

_Reproving her husband sternly.._

If your daughter is watching _Sesame Street,_ she's way too young to overhear me describing my underwear….and Kendall might be oblivious but we both know Curtis misses nothing…

FITZGERALD

_He is teasingly disappointed but smiles into the phone as he presses for a rain check:_

Will you describe it later?

OLIVIA

_Shaking her head and laughing; she has long since given up_

If you behave yourself, Mister, maybe you'll _see_ it later…I'm hanging up, now…

FITZGERALD

I love you.

OLIVIA

I love you, too.

_Olivia puts down the phone, removes the popcorn bag from the microwave, and empties its contents into the large plastic bowl, which she brings outside and places in the center of the table. Kendall and Curtis have been sneaking looks out the window, but quickly bring their eyes back to their books as soon as their mother enters the room. The shift in their attention is not lost on Olivia, who gives them a sharp, firm look. _

_Olivia then returns to the kitchen to retrieve the promised plate of apple slices for Aleta when the phone rings again._

OLIVIA

_Picking up the phone, smiling, without checking the number_

I told you you could see it later, Mister!

_The camera now slices to Dr. Elijah Pope, prominent professor of Shakespearean literature, former Dean at Harvard University, and current President of Vermont University. We see his head and upper torso positioned behind a larger wooden desk, against an oak-paneled office, lined with bookcases that is more ornate and opulent than the Mayor's office._

DR. POPE

Excuse me?

OLIVIA

_Stumbling, embarrassed_

Dad?

DR. POPE

_With a sneer of condescension_

Were you flirting with that second-generation longshoreman you married-again?

_Olivia pauses for a moment as she pointedly does not answer the question. Elijah allows the silence to stretch a few more beats, and then continues_

Your inexplicable attraction to that man never ceases to amaze me.

_Olivia is visibly upset but struggles to maintain a calm demeanor on the telephone. This is an old argument which she is reluctant to have every time she is on the telephone with her father._

OLIVIA

_In a tone of forced, cordial cheerfulness_

How are you today, Dad?

DR. POPE

_Olivia's father is not yet ready to change the subject_

I send my daughter to the finest schools in the country, to institutions where her classmates would be the sons and daughters of kings; take her to Martha's Vineyard every summer…enroll her in Jack and Jill …I send her to Princeton! I send her to Georgetown law school! She graduates at the top of her class, ready to blaze trails in human rights legislation! You could be running your own NGO! You could be the first female secretary-general of the United Nations! You could be …a state senator or congresswoman….but no, what does my daughter do? _He sneers._ She marries a needy, second-rate, poor-little-rich-frat-boy who doesn't seem to know how to do anything but get her pregnant, and then trails him like a lemming to become a housewife in the middle of nowhere….

_As Olivia listens to this, we see her face crumble, and then slowly recover. She has heard her father say all these things before, but they retain their power to hurt, each time. _

_Olivia has, nevertheless, taught herself to fight back, not by sinking to her father's level, but rather by keeping, whenever she can, to the high road, but taking up cudgels, on occasion, to put her father in his place._

OLIVIA

_Gearing up for battle_

Three, Dad, I'm not sure whether this is your way of declining or accepting our invitation to Thanksgiving dinner, but if that was an acceptance, I'd say it needed some _editing_;

Two, if we are in the middle of nowhere, you are right here with us—you're the one who decided to leave your job at Harvard to become President of Vermont University after Fitz and I moved up here….

ELIJAH

_Interrupting her_

I was making sure that the pernicious influence of the biological father of my grandchildren was minimized by contact with the better side of the family….

OLIVIA

_Interrupting her father right back_

One, Fitz may be a needy frat boy, but he's _my _frat boy…and I would be thanking my stars for that if I were you, Dad, because I can assure you (_Olivia's voice rises_) that Fitz was the _only_ father any grandchildren of yours were ever going to have….

_Challenging her father_

Are you coming for Thanksgiving dinner or not?

DR. POPE

_Stiffly; backing down a bit_

I'll be there.

OLIVIA

_Trying to soften her voice; she is still very angry, but she knows she has just won this round_

I'm glad you'll be joining us, Dad.

_Olivia pauses, and raises another sensitive topic_

Will Mom be coming with you?

DR. POPE

_Soberly now, without the smugness in his earlier tone_

I can't say. Your mother is still in New York.

OLIVIA

_With some sympathy_

I'm sorry Dad; I know you miss her. Have you heard from her at all?

DR. POPE:

Not exactly.

_Dr. Pope can't repress a sigh; he is humiliated by this situation, but not quite as ready to discuss it as Olivia is. After struggling with some hesitation, he brings himself to give his daughter the news. This is actually why he called; and why he was lighting into her with such venom as their conversation began._

_Gruffly, in a low voice._

I heard from your mother's attorney this morning.

_He pauses; swallows hard._

Your mother has sent me divorce papers.

_Olivia is very still, frozen with shock._

OLIVIA

_Her natural sympathy flows forth for her father, difficult as he is:_

Oh Daddy, I'm so very sorry.

DR. POPE

_He is very deliberately changing the subject._

What should I bring on Thanksgiving Day?

OLIVIA

_Trying to tolerate her father's unwillingness to talk_

A bottle or two of wine would be lovely.

DR. POPE

I'll bring a good Chianti—something your husband probably won't appreciate and can't afford on a mayor's salary.

OLIVIA

_She is telling herself to be patient_

You forget that we can make our own wine here, Dad. But that would be great.

DR. POPE

Who else is coming on Thanksgiving?

OLIVIA

_Closing her eyes for a moment to concentrate_

Let's see: David and Abby—you've met them, he's the local D.A, and she runs that cake-and-coffee shop on Main Street? Judge Beene—you remember him? He was Fitz's professor at Harvard, and then taught me at Georgetown before he came up here? Cyrus's partner James—you know, the editor of the local newspaper?—and their little girl, Ella; Huck Finn, our new gardener….

DR. POPE

_Dropping a deliberate bomb_

So you aren't inviting Mellie Randolph?

OLIVIA

_This stops her cold in her tracks. She stutters as she responds_

Mel…Mellie Randolph? Why would we invite Mellie Randolph to Thanksgiving dinner?

_Olivia swallows hard_

Last I heard, she was in South Carolina, running her father's food company?

_Olivia pauses; she does not know what to think_

Why would Mellie Randolph be in Hallingford for Thanksgiving?

DR. POPE

_Clearly relishing the opportunity to stir up trouble; misery, after all, prefers company._

Because Randolph Confections is opening a jam factory in Hallingford.

_Olivia is silent; stunned._

Why, didn't you know?

_This is going even better than Dr. Pope planned; he presses on with enthusiasm._

Didn't your oh-so-devoted husband—excuse me, your precious 'Frat boy'- tell you?

_Dr. Pope dives into the silence, twisting the knife a bit_

I would have thought he would have told you about the gala —the student symphony orchestra will be giving a concert in honor of Mellie Randolph next month, and the Hallingford Chamber of Commerce is hosting a banquet for her at the Faculty House right before…since it's all happening on campus, I'll be there representing the University, but you and Fitz will also have to attend, as Mayor and First Lady of Hallingford…

…unless you were planning to skip it, perhaps?

_He smiles a bit maliciously and oozes a little condescending concern_

Perhaps you'll need to stay home with the children if you can't find a babysitter….

OLIVIA

_Cutting her father off in a businesslike tone that is a bit too bright to be genuine _

I'm sure Fitz was going to tell me, and just hadn't gotten around to it yet, Dad.

_Swallows hard_

And I'm sure Fitz and I can handle the logistics….

_Olivia is plainly agitated, and doesn't want her father to know how seriously this news has rattled her_

I have to go, Dad—I need to give the children their snacks, and make sure the boys are actually working on their math homework. We can talk another time, OK?

DR. POPE

_In a business-like tone; his work is done._

Of course. Goodbye, Olivia.

OLIVIA

Goodbye, Dad.

_Olivia ends the phone call, and stares at her cellular phone. Close up on her face, looking greatly perturbed._

Commercial**Camera Click**Commercial**Camera Click**Commercial**Camera Click**

**Author's Note: **I never could quite figure out how Fitz managed to earn a PhD _and_ a law degree, but it turns out, if one visits the website of Harvard University, that there is, actually, a joint degree program that would link the two, so that's how I've decided Fitz could have both. I also looked at a variety of websites for towns in the state of Vermont in order to develop my concept of the fictional "Hallingford"—readers who are interested in further details are welcome to email me for references.

I want to thank the many talented writers on this website for their kind correspondence, particularly ScandalMania, who was especially encouraging and helpful as I was developing this piece; CorinneStark; torri oats; and MzMocha. As an author on the "Scandal Gladiators" website indicated recently, whatever our many differing perspectives on _Scandal_, the best part of the show, surely, is the way it has brought together so many insightful and accomplished authors. I thank them all for their attention.


	2. Chapter 2

**"Somewhere, in another life, in another reality, you and I are married, and we have four kids, and we live in Vermont and I'm the mayor and ...you make jam...".**

What if _Scandal_ were a 1980s-style family situation comedy, rather than a drama?

The text below is my script for the sit-com pilot. Have a look, and tell me if you think it should be optioned, or remain on the summer slush pile!

I don't own_ Scandal_, which is the exclusive property and creative achievement of Shonda Rhimes and the talented writers of Shondaland. 

As always, this author is grateful for all readers and comments, negative and positive.

SCENE TWO: **"Dirty Little Secrets"**

_We are now in the office of Fitzgerald Grant, Mayor of Hallingford, Vermont. The Mayor's office is a capacious, neo-colonial style office. There are large picture windows center stage, behind Fitzgerald's desk; a thick Turkish high-contrast rug on the floor; and a maple, hand-crafted, conference table. There are several empire-style chairs arranged around the table on the right side of the room; a few more chairs, and one leather arm chair, arranged around Fitzgerald's desk; and a sofa along the wall on the left side, near the Mayor's desk. Several bookcases, mostly stocked with collections of municipal statutes and works of local history, line the walls behind Fitz's desk. Shelves are also positioned between the two windows, which allow cheery shafts of natural light to shine through the office._

_Fitzgerald is sitting behind his desk, which is piled high with papers, as well as an open laptop computer, and a land-line telephone. He leans back in an adjustable chair as he studies a report, brow furrowed in concentration._

_There is a knock at the door, and Cyrus Beene, now a local district court judge as well as a member of Vermont University's Law School faculty, sticks his head in the partially open door._

CYRUS

Knock, knock…

FITZGERALD

_Smiling, as he looks up from his report_

The Honorable Judge Beene! What brings you here on a Friday afternoon, Cyrus? I'd have thought you'd be starting your weekend early….

CYRUS

_Stepping through the threshold into Fitz's office_

Believe me, I wanted to…but I needed to talk to you about something…

FITZGERALD

_Leaning back in his chair; he is expecting a discussion of some civic policy, or a complicated local legal matter. He gestures to the sofa near his desk and puts down the manila folder he was reading from._

Have a seat….What's on your mind, Cy?

CYRUS

_Looks around a little, hesitating…_

I actually wanted to wait for someone else to get here….

FITZGERALD

_Looks quizzical_

Someone else?

_He inclines his head, lowers his voice a little.._

What's this all about, Cy? You look kind of upset..

CYRUS

_Stalling; a bit too brightly as he sits down_

So, how did Olivia take the news about Mellie Randolph coming to town?

FITZGERALD

_Startled; this is a sore point, so if Judge Beene wants to distract him, this is clearly the right way to do it. Fitz looks wary as he replies to his old friend_

You didn't come by to ask me that, did you?

CYRUS

_Leaning forward_

Well, no…but actually, inquiring minds are dying to know…what did Olivia say?

FITZGERALD

_Raising his eyebrows_

You _do_ know this really isn't any of your business…..

_Narrows his eyes as something occurs to him_

Wait a minute….you and James didn't make another bet, did you?

CYRUS

_Looking innocent_

Now Fitz…when have James and I ever made bets about your marriage?

FITZGERALD

_Wryly_

Um…let's see…there was the time you made a bet with two colleagues at Georgetown about whether or not I would propose…

CYRUS

_Smugly_

I will point out that I won…

FITZGERALD

_Retorts_

Only because your colleagues were old cronies of Big Gerry's who assumed I'd cave to my father's pressure and break up with Livvie…

_Sits back in his seat_

CYRUS

_Reasoning with Fitz; this is an old argument between friends, who occasionally like to travel down memory lane together_

No one in Washington thought you'd actually have the nerve to defy your dad over a girl.

_Cyrus shrugs and looks smug_

If I knew better, was it such a terrible thing to derive a little…fiscal advantage?

_Defensively_

It wasn't exactly insider trading….

FITZGERALD

_Reminding him…_

And then there were the bets on the sex of our children…

CYRUS

_Now it is his turn to retort_

Fifty-Fifty are good odds! Besides….when I won, it paid for the baby gifts!

FITZGERALD

_Laughing_

You were wrong about the twins!

CYRUS

_Shrugging_

So…they still got presents, didn't they?

FITZGERALD

_Laughing_

You bought them pink teddy bears! You could have scarred them for life!

CYRUS

_In mock offense _

Excuse me? I was just making sure that you didn't impose any heteronormative toys on my Godsons…

_Fitzgerald guffaws and the two laugh together for a few minutes and then Cyrus sobers first_

You haven't told her, have you?

FITZGERALD

_Stops laughing and hunches his shoulders sheepishly. One reason Cyrus considers Fitz a sure bet is because he know Fitz so well._

No, I haven't told her…

CYRUS

_He is laughing again_

Chicken!

FITZGERALD

_A little defensively_

Cy, have you ever seen Olivia get upset?

CYRUS

I saw Olivia get angry once. It was right after she started working for the Global Women's Center. There was an ambassador from Kygurdistan—smarmy guy, as I recall….making offhand remarks about the "availability" of American women.

_Fitzgerald is listening, interested. He actually hasn't heard this story, at least not recently enough to remember it._

Livvie jumped down his throat. I've never seen a grown man look so terrified.

_Laughs again_

It was one of the best moments of my teaching career….

FITZGERALD

_Nodding in approval and agreement. He is completely proud of his wife._

Livvie can be a formidable opponent.

But I'm talking about Olivia _upset._

_Cyrus looks uncomprehending_

FITZGERALD

_Clarifying, with some irritation_

_Upset_, Cyrus.

_Fitz lowers his voice as he leans forward to share a confidence_

Her lower lip trembles.

CYRUS

Her lower lip?

FITZGERALD

She gets all teary...

CYRUS

_Genuinely surprised_

TEARY? Olivia?

FITZGERALD

And then she locks herself in the bathroom….

_He sighs heavily as he remembers.._

And the worst fight we ever had was over Mellie, while Olivia was pregnant with Nicole.

_Fitz swallows hard before continuing._

Olivia locked herself in the bathroom for twelve hours.

CYRUS

_Leaning forward; he has never heard this story_

Wait—this was in that tiny apartment on Wisconsin Avenue, right? The one-room basement with a boiler cage separating the kitchen and the bedroom?

FITZGERALD

_Nodding_

Yep…the one we had to move into after my father cut me off—it was all we could afford on Livvie's salary at the Global Women's Center while I was still commuting to Boston…

_Fitz's face grimaces as he remembers_

…It was in the middle of winter, too—the bathroom had the water heater so it was the only place in that apartment where the temperature ever went above forty degrees…

_Cyrus starts to laugh_

I guess Olivia really froze you out that time, Fitz, huh?

FITZGERALD

_Sourly_

You can laugh now, but it wasn't funny at the time. I kept on pounding on the door, begging Livvie to just talk to me…and then I'd have to run to the closet to pull on another sweater…

_Cyrus only laughs harder _

FITZGERALD

I think I was wearing about five sweaters under my coat by the time she finally came out…

CYRUS

What set her off?

FITZGERALD

We had run into Mellie at a reception Olivia had to go to in Washington—I think Bill Randolph had made some kind of donation to the Women's Center, and Mellie was there, representing him…

CYRUS

And Mellie made a pass at you?

FITZGERALD

_Narrows his eyes, remembering…_

It wasn't exactly a pass…_ relenting_…well, alright, yes, I suppose it was a pass…Mellie was flirting, and I didn't stop her, because I didn't think it really mattered, and humoring her seemed to make more sense than cutting her off and taking the chance that she'd make a scene…

_Sighs glumly_

So then we got home, and_ Olivia_ made the scene….

_Appealing to Cyrus_

But the thing is, Cy, I haven't had any contact with Mellie—not so much as a phone call, or a Christmas card—since that night, sixteen years ago. I haven't even talked to Mellie about the factory! The offer to build-all the labor arrangements—everything—is coming through her lawyers... We haven't even exchanged emails!

CYRUS

_Thoughtfully_

What do you think is going on?

FITZGERALD

I'm not sure….

_Confiding_

To be honest, I think it might Bill Randolph, and my father, who've cooked this up...it wouldn't be that hard to dig up the news about how the Hallingford Paper Mill closed down two years ago, and how I ran for mayor on a ticket of urban renewal after that whole scandal threw so many people out of work…

_Fitz moves one hand through his hair in an agitated manner…_

..And the thing is, Cy, they made me an offer I couldn't refuse—not just because of all the unemployed folks who could go back to work if the Jam Factory opened here, but the way that Randolph Confections is promising to source all their fruit supplies from local farms….

_Fitz leans forward, appealing to Cyrus for understanding_

This factory could be best thing that's happened to this town in years—the economic miracle that would finally put everyone in Hallingford back to work….

_Fitz sinks back in his chair, distressed_

…Was I really supposed to turn all that down just because the C.E.O. of Randolph Confections happens to be my college ex-girlfriend?

CYRUS

_Who has grown increasingly sympathetic through this speech, and now attempts a lame joke_

Well, think of it this way—you would be the first politician in American history to actually _keep _a campaign promise by lying to your wife…

FITZGERALD

_Annoyed_

That's not funny, Cy.

CYRUS

_Soberly_

I'm sorry—I shouldn't be making jokes…but seriously, Fitz, why don't you just tell Olivia what you just told me? She knows politics; she had plenty of experience on the Beltway even before she met you…I'm sure you could make her understand…..

FITZGERALD

I was going to tell her this weekend.

_Cyrus nods approvingly_

But first, I was going to take all the locks off our bathroom doors.

_Cyrus is about to reply to that when there is a knock on the Mayor's Office door. _

Who is it?

_Fitz's secretary, Lauren, peaks her head around the door_

Mr. Mayor, District Attorney Rosen is here to see you…

_Fitzgerald's eyebrows go up_

FITZGERALD

_Looking puzzled_

Sure, send him in….

_He looks at Cyrus_

Do you know what this is all about?

CYRUS

I've been waiting for Rosen to arrive before we talk to you about this…

_Enter David Rosen, Hallingford's District Attorney, with an accordion file of papers under one arm. He is all business, and a little non-plussed to see Cyrus there before him._

DAVID

_Stiffly formal_

Mr. Mayor, Judge Beene….I thought the Judge might wait to talk to you about this until I was here to present all the evidence…

FITZGERALD

_He leans back in his chair a bit, and looks official, challenged by David's tone_

Talk to me about what, David?

_Fitz gives Cyrus a sidelong glance_

Cyrus hasn't told me a thing…

_David Rosen relaxes a little bit…_

And please, call me Fitz….and sit down, David….

_Fitz rises from behind his desk and walks toward the door, as David sits down in a straight-backed empire chair opposite Fitz's desk._

Did either of you gentlemen want anything? Coffee? Water?

DAVID

I don't need anything, thank you Mr. Mayor….I mean, Fitz….

CYRUS

_Grinning_

Some coffee would be great…

FITZGERALD

Fine, I'll see to it.

_He pokes his head out the door, and we hear him ask Lauren to get some coffee…he turns to Cyrus…_

It's light with two sugars, right?

CYRUS

_Makes a face_

Just light…James is making me cut back on sugar…

DAVID

_Finally relaxing a bit_

Don't tell my wife that…sugar is her livelihood..

CYRUS

And I'm one of her best customers…just don't tell my husband…

DAVID

_Looking levelly at Cyrus_

Dirty little secrets always come out, Judge Beene…

_Lauren enters with coffee_

LAUREN

Here you are, Judge Beene…are you sure you don't want something, Mr. Rosen?

DAVID

No thanks, I'm fine…

FITZGERALD

_Genially_

Thanks, Lauren

_When the door shuts behind Lauren, Fitz turns to Cyrus and David with mild irritation and a patch of anxiety_

Ok, so now we have the room, and you gentlemen have the floor. What's this all about?

_Cyrus and David exchange glances_

CYRUS

_In a low voice, to David_

You tell him…

DAVID

_In the same low voice, to Cyrus_

No, you tell him…

CYRUS

_Hissing_

I was holding off on telling him because I was waiting for you!

DAVID

_Hissing back_

Yes, but now that I think about it, maybe he'll take it better coming from you….

FITZGERALD

_Looks from David to Cyrus with mounting exasperation. His voice rises_

Would the two of you just tell me what the hell is going on?

_Cyrus and David begin to say something at the same time, and finally Cyrus looks up at Fitz with a somewhat abashed but serious look_

CYRUS:

Billy Chambers has been indicted.

FITZGERALD

_Turns from Cyrus to David with genuine alarm_

What? Are you serious?

CYRUS

_Shaking his head_

Of course we're serious…Would the two of us make something like that up?

_Fitzgerald walks back to his desk and sinks heavily into his chair_

DAVID

_Clearing his throat_

I'm sorry to report that Chambers has been indicted for accepting bribes…

FITZGERALD

_Looking grave_

Is there going to be an investigative commission?

CYRUS

That's a possibility….

DAVID

But it's actually looking more likely that the Vermont Department of Justice will handle it by deputizing me to act as a local investigating official

_This is news to Cyrus, who gives David an inquiring look who turns to Cyrus with an explanation_

I just got off the phone with the Governor's D.A. That's why I was late…

FITZGERALD

David, I know Hallingford couldn't have a better man on the case than you…

DAVID

Thank you, Mr. Mayor…

FITZGERALD

But what, exactly, are the charges? The circumstances?

_Cyrus looks carefully at Fitzgerald_

CYRUS

Fitz, you really didn't know _anything_ about this?

FITZGERALD

_Looks up in genuine innocence_

No, I didn't.

_He looks a little sheepish_

I'm thinking I should have, actually. Never got a good vibe off of Chambers…the man's a sleaze…

CYRUS

_Sententiously_

Just the sort of person Hallingford needed as a Public Defender!

FITZGERALD

_Shrugging his shoulders_

Well, I didn't appoint him! He was "sunsetted" in by my predecessor, Sally Langston, if you recall…

CYRUS

_Conceding_

Fair enough.

DAVID

_Pulling papers out of the accordion file he's been holding on his lap_

Approximately two months ago, it was confirmed that Chambers had been taking bribes from the Scorpion Network…

FITZGERALD

This was the drug gang that your team prosecuted two years ago, right?

DAVID

_Nodding_

That's correct, Mr. Mayor. If you recall, we were in the middle of closing arguments about the time you got elected…

_David leans forward and hands a manila envelop with papers to Fitzgerald_

This is the transcript of the evidence in that case….

_He sits back in his chair, rummages through the envelop, and produces another folder which he also places on Fitz's desk_

And this is a transcript from the wiretap we had set up with Judge Beene's authorization on Scorpion Network communications.

_David sits back in his chair and delivers the last piece of news while looking directly at Fitz_

They were using cell phones and attempting to cover their tracks, but it's looking like the network extended to several of the board members at the Paper Mill who also pleaded guilty to embezzlement…

FITZGERALD

_He is truly shocked_

Good God! So the Scorpion Gang basically had fingers in every pie in town!

DAVID

_Dryly_

The only pies they didn't touch are the ones my wife bakes, I'm afraid….

FITZGERALD

_His voice is serious; grim_

Where is Chambers now?

DAVID

He's been released on his own recognizance, given a court date for about three months from now…the rumor is he's hiring an attorney, some slick fellow from New York, a Harrison…

_David looks appealingly at Cyrus as he fumbles for the name_

CYRUS

_Picking up where David left off_

Harrison Wright. Young fellow; clever; handsome. Finished up a few years ago at NYU Law. Do you or Olivia know him?

FITZGERALD

_Shaking his head_

Never heard of him. But he'd better be good, because Billy Chambers is in a lot of trouble….and it sounds like he could finish up as a long-term guest of the fair state of Vermont.

_He looks from Cyrus to David apprehensively. _

There's more, isn't there? I can tell from the look on your faces….

_Cyrus and David exchange glances_

CYRUS

_In a low voice, to David_

You tell him…

DAVID

_In the same low voice, to Cyrus_

No, you tell him…

CYRUS

_Hissing_

I was holding off on telling him because I was waiting for you!

DAVID

_Hissing back_

Yes, but now that I think about it, maybe he'll take it better coming from you….

FITZGERALD

Gentlemen, we aren't really doing this twice, are we? If I wanted to watch a two man comedy routine, I'd go home to my television set…

CYRUS

_Speaking on top of David as he turns apologetically to Fitzgerald_

It's just that this part may be a bit harder to hear…

DAVID

_Speaking on top of Cyrus as he also turns toward the Mayor_

We were concerned about the implications…and how you would react…

FITZGERALD

_Holding up his hand to stop them both_

Gentlemen! One at a time!

_He frowns and turns to David and addresses him as slowly and distinctly as possible_

District Attorney Rosen, What. Is. This. About?

DAVID

_He is somber and somewhat apologetic; he knows that what he is about to say will not be well received_

Mr. Mayor, there seems to be evidence that Billy Chambers was not only taking bribes, but sharing them with Hallingford's police department…

FITZGERALD

_Bracing himself_

Go on….

DAVID

_Swallows hard_

There is preliminary evidence that Captain Ballard may be involved….

FITZGERALD

_David knows he is talking about one of the Mayor's oldest friends; Fitzgerald has set his jaw._

How conclusive is this "preliminary evidence?"

DAVID

_His look of apprehension has not disappeared_

There are a few conversations among those we lifted from the authorized wiretaps that suggest the distinct possibility that Captain Ballard may have been complicit with some of Chambers's activities…

_Fitzgerald now stands up; he is clearly quite upset, and looks out the window_

FITZGERALD

_Turning back to David and Cyrus _

Give me the whole thing, gentlemen, from start to finish. When did you first suspect, how did you blow this open?

DAVID

We began to suspect something was off about two years before your election, Mr. Mayor.

_He steps in, a little closer to Fitzgerald's desk._

It was after Chambers oversaw that completely lackluster defense for Arthur Hornbecker…

FITZGERALD

_Although Fitz and Olivia began building their house in Hallingford shortly after the twins were born (after Fitz's mother died, and left Fitz a generous inheritance), the Pope-Grants began by using their residence in Hallingford as a summer vacation home while they were still living in Washington, D.C., before moving to Hallingford permanently right after Aleta was born. What finally brought Olivia and Fitzgerald to Hallingford permanently was the job offer Fitz received to teach at Vermont University. Once Fitz established residency in Hallingford, he ran for Mayor; but because Fitz had not lived in Hallingford as long as David Rosen, or even Cyrus Beene, there are parts of the story of the Hallingford Paper Mill Scandal Fitz has only heard about second-hand. Because Cyrus and James moved to Hallingford from Washington a few years before Fitz and Olivia did, Cyrus is more familiar with the backstory than Fitzgerald. So Fitz is asking for clarification to confirm the significance of the name:_

Hornbecker was that bookkeeper who first reported the accounting discrepancies at the Paper Mill, and then was accused of murder, yes?

DAVID

That's correct, Mr. Mayor.

_David looks a little ashamed, and then continues_

I know I'm the District Attorney, and we were winning the case against Hornbecker easily, but it started to look more and more to my team like Chambers and his people weren't doing anything to fight on Hornbecker's behalf—by the time the jury was ready to deliberate, it was really looking like a circumstantial murder charge, and a flimsy one at that…I offered Hornbecker a plea, but Chambers refused to let him take it; and the jury convicted him…

CYRUS

_Chiming in_

I wasn't comfortable with the way Chambers was handling the defense either, so when the jury rendered their verdict, I gave Hornbecker the minimum allowed sentence— with an assurance that, with good behavior, he'd be eligible for parole as soon as possible….

_Shakes his head, remembering_

David had won his case but there was just something that felt _wrong_ about the whole thing…

DAVID

_Picking up the thread_

It turned out Chambers and his people had looked the other way while the police tampered with evidence that would have blown away the state's case…

FITZGERALD

_Grimly_

And then two days after Hornbecker was convicted, he was found dead in his prison cell. They said it was a suicide.

DAVID

_Hanging his head_

Now we aren't so sure.

FITZGERALD

_Sits down again, and picks up one of the files David gave him_

And you think Jake was involved?

DAVID

_Carefully, sympathetically_

We think he _might_ have been, Mr. Mayor…

FITZGERALD

_Taking command_

O.K. I can't believe that Jake would be party to anything like this, so as far as I'm concerned, Captain Ballard is innocent until proven guilty. When and if your people have conclusive evidence, I want to see it.

_He swallows hard_

_If _we have to prosecute, we will, to the fullest extent of the law—but if we don't….

CYRUS

_Reassuring_

There's nothing we'd like more than to see Captain Ballard cleared, Fitz. He's a great guy.

DAVID

_Agreeing with Cyrus_

Yes, Mr. Mayor.

FITZGERALD

_In dismissal mode; he'd like to be alone for a few minutes to contemplate the possibility that one of his oldest Navy buddies may be corrupt_

I want to thank you gentlemen for bringing this to my attention.

_Once more, Cyrus and David exchange glances_

CYRUS

Actually, Fitz….there is one more thing…

FITZGERALD

_Apprehensive, irritated_

What now?

CYRUS

David and I were wondering where we're going to find a new person to coordinate the Public Defender's Office now that Chambers is out…the office already has cases backlogged a good six months because Chambers wasn't doing his job properly…

FITZGERALD

_Leaning forward to look between the two men_

You have someone in mind, don't you?

CYRUS

_Hesitating just a moment_

Actually, we did….

FITZGERALD

Who?

_David and Cyrus exchange glances_

FITZGERALD

_Anticipating, and hoping to circumvent, another back-and-forth routine_

Yes?

DAVID

_Hesitating_

We were…that is to say we thought maybe….

FITZGERALD

_Pressing; these are two of his closest associates and he really respects and values them, but right now they are driving him crazy_

Who?

CYRUS

_Stuttering_

…um….Olivia?

FITZGERALD

_Startled_

Oh!

_Fitz settles back in his chair a bit, and considers as David dives in…_

DAVID

The thing is, we all know Olivia Pope wears the white hat. Georgetown law; background in Global Women's Rights …she's squeaky clean…she would never take a bribe, or tamper with evidence…or negligently represent a client….and she wouldn't let anyone else do it on her watch, either…

CYRUS

_Pressing their case_

And it would be doable for Olivia, Fitz…there would be some litigation, of course, but a great deal of it would be managing other litigators, particularly the local attorneys who sign up as public defenders….

_He pauses and continues as Fitz continues to look between the two men thoughtfully_

Even if Olivia didn't want to do this forever—even if she only stepped in as an interim P.D—which we would totally understand- she'd do a terrific job, and the advantage of working for the town, rather than a private firm, is that she'd have a better shot at working predictable hours and spending some time with the kids…I know that's important to you both right now….

DAVID

_Puts in the last argument_

If you would speak to her about sending her resume, I could bring her into my office for an interview…I can't guarantee her the job, of course, but I can say her application would be very strongly considered….and, actually, Fitz…the sooner Olivia sends her resume, the better….

_Emphatically_

This Monday, for example, would be really, really great….

FITZGERALD

_Hesitating_

I'd have to talk to Livvie…she stopped working five years ago when Aleta was born, but her license is still good through next April…

_Fitzgerald is thinking deeply about it for a few minutes, and then finishes slowly…_

I don't want to speak for her, but I have a feeling she just might be interested…

_Close up on Fitz's pensive face. _

Commercial**Camera Click**Commercial**Camera Click**Commercial**Camera Click**

The author apologizes for any liberties she may have taken with legal procedure in this chapter. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank those readers who have expressed interest in this piece! I am honored and grateful for your attention.


	3. Chapter 3

**"Somewhere, in another life, in another reality, you and I are married, and we have four kids, and we live in Vermont and I'm the mayor and ...you make jam...".**

What if _Scandal_ were a 1980s-style family situation comedy, rather than a drama?

The text below is my script for the sit-com pilot. Have a look, and tell me if you think it should be optioned, or remain on the summer slush pile!

I don't own_ Scandal_, which is the exclusive property and creative achievement of Shonda Rhimes and the talented writers of Shondaland. 

As always, this author is grateful for all readers and comments, negative and positive.

**SCENE THREE: "Looking for the Right Words" **

_The Grant home._

_The doorbell rings._

_Olivia, who has been pacing in circles on one side of the living room while the boys continue working on their homework, and Aleta watches more television, stops pacing and goes to answer the door. _

_Enter Abby Wheelen Rosen, owner and chief dessert chef for Hallingford's best bakery/café, "Abby's Sweet Shop." She is one of Olivia's closest friends, and frequently drops in for late afternoon coffee if she can leave the Sweet Shop to her manager, Quinn Perkins, for an hour or two._

ABBY

_Peering carefully at Olivia as she enters the living room_

What's wrong?

OLIVIA

_Tossing her head evasively_

Nothing's wrong…why would you think anything was wrong?

ABBY

_Knowingly_

Liv, your lower lip is trembling. It's a dead giveaway.

_Olivia gives a sidelong glance to the boys who are now actually working on their math, while Aleta is still watching television. She jerks her head toward the direction of the kitchen, indicating that Abby should follow her. They go into the kitchen and Abby sits down at the table, while Olivia finds mugs for coffee, and pours some from a coffee maker on the kitchen._

ABBY

_Concerned_

Liv, what is it?

_Olivia finally sits down, fiddles with her coffee, and then looks up at Abby_

OLIVIA

Abby, did you know that Mellie Randolph's company was opening a jam factory in town?

ABBY

I heard about it a few days ago…apparently there's going to be a big spread in the _Hallingford Messenger_ on Sunday…

_She stops short, horrified_

Wait a minute…you didn't know?

OLIVIA

_In a small voice_

No.

ABBY

_Indignant_

Fitz didn't tell you?

OLIVIA

_Sitting back in her chair_

No.

ABBY

_Perplexed_

So, who did?

OLIVIA

_Grimly_

My dad!

ABBY

_Sits back in her chair, and blows out a breath_

Oh dear…

OLIVIA

"Oh dear" is right. I have to hear from my _father_—a man who hates my husband, and never loses any opportunity to tell me what a mistake it was to marry Fitz—that my husband's ex-fiancé is practically about to be given the key to the city next month…

ABBY

_Apologetically_

I know you don't like her, Liv, but the factory is going to be terrific for business….we're bound to see more customers at the Sweet Shop once it opens….and we finalized the catering order for desserts at the Gala Dinner this morning….

OLIVIA

_Throws up her hands_

Great! This is perfect for everyone in town except me!

_Muttering as she stand up to get more milk for her coffee_

Maybe I should move back to Washington and leave you all to dance around Mellie on a pedestal…

ABBY

_Leaning forward and putting her hand out to Olivia in appeal_

Aw…Liv…don't be like that…I'm sure Fitz was planning to tell you…it's just a sensitive subject…

_Abby shrugs her shoulders elaborately_

Fitz was probably just… looking for the right words….

OLIVIA

_Wryly_

Evidently he was looking for the right words in all the wrong places…

_She looks down at her lap and then looks seriously at Abby_

Abby, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately….

ABBY

_Solicitously_

What is it, Livvie?

OLIVIA

I think I want to go back to work.

_In a whisper, as if revealing a deep, dark secret_

I miss wearing suits!

_After a pause_

And I'm sick of wearing comfortable shoes!

_Completing her confession_

I want to put on a pair of heels again!

ABBY

_Sits back in her chair, considering. Abby is actually not even surprised by Olivia's confession; she and David don't have any children, and so Abby has never quite understood what motivates parents to begin with_

Well, of course you want to dress like a grown-up! And no one could blame you if you missed talking to grown-ups, too…There are only so many conversations any intelligent adult can stand to have about whether someone has finished their homework….

OLIVIA

_Interposing…one reason she hasn't raised this with Abby earlier was because she knew that Abby wouldn't completely comprehend her mixed feelings_

Actually, Abby, you might be surprised at how many conversations between attorneys are _exactly_ about whether or not someone has finished their homework!

_She lifts a brow_

Sometimes we have conversations about whether the homework was done at all…

_Tilting her head to one side and laying one hand on Abby's arm_

And—trust me—my children are far more intelligent than some of the clients I had to work with in Washington…especially the Congressmen…

ABBY

_Touching Olivia's hand back with sympathy and retreating a bit; it's not that Abby dislikes Olivia's children; it's just that she's never been completely comfortable around anyone under the age of thirty_

Well, it would stand to reason that _your _children would be special, Liv…

_Olivia smiles_

_Abby continues, looking perplexed_

But I don't see the problem with you going back to work… I say, go for it!

_Abby gives Olivia a penetrating look_

What's stopping you?

OLIVIA

_Anxiously_

I've been worrying about how I would handle the afterschool babysitting…I don't want to abandon my children…

_She shakes her head as she continues.._

It's not so much Aleta I worry about if I could find someone reliable, and Nicole's old enough to manage for a few hours on her own…but sometimes I think the boys would never do their math homework if I wasn't around to stand over them…

ABBY

_Laughing_

They'd learn to do it fast enough the first time they came home with a bad grade for not finishing it…even if the teacher didn't read them the riot act, you and Fitz certainly would! It might actually teach them some responsibility!

_Sobering_

But…what does all this have to do with Mellie Randolph?

OLIVIA

_Hesitates_

I guess…

ABBY

_Prompting_

You guess…what?

OLIVIA

_Bringing it out in a rush_

I guess I feel like I need to go back to work if I'm going to be competing for my husband's attention with the C.E.O of an international company…

ABBY

_Comforting _

Olivia…Fitz loves you….If you want to go back to work, go back to work, but I'd honestly be surprised if Fitz is interested in getting back together with Mellie after all these years….

OLIVIA

_Starting to tear up_

Then why didn't he tell me that Mellie Randolph was opening a jam factory in Hallingford?

ABBY

_Shrewdly_

Have YOU told him that Jake Ballard made a pass at you at the Labor Day Picnic?

OLIVIA

_Small voice_

No.

ABBY

Gee…so I guess you must be searching for the right words, too….

_Snaps her fingers as if solving a problem with gentle sarcasm_

Hey! Maybe your words are missing in the same place where Fitz needs to look for his!

OLIVIA

_Conceding _

OK, OK, point taken….but I haven't told Fitz because I think it would hurt him to know that his best friend was being inappropriate with his wife…not because I have the slightest interest in Jake Ballard…

ABBY

_Musing_

Jake is kinda cute…

_Olivia looks shocked_

OLIVIA

Abby!

ABBY

Oh come 'on Olivia; we're married, not dead!

OLIVIA

_Primly_

Maybe so, but I don't really think about other men besides Fitz….

_Keening…_

And…what am I ever going to wear to that damned gala?

ABBY

_Wrinkles her nose, reflects_

Wear that black-and-white thing you used to wear to parties in Washington…

_Olivia stares at her_

ABBY

_Pressing her point emphatically_

You always looked amazing in it…and it's bound to fit you—you were even able to get into that thing when you were four months pregnant!

OLIVIA

_Tearing up again_

I can't wear that…I was wearing that the last time I saw Mellie Randolph! She'll think I have only one dress!

ABBY

_Shrugging her shoulders_

So, take Nicole and go shopping this weekend…You can find some bargain gown in one of the fashion outlets and Nicole will be in retail heaven!

OLIVIA

_Considering_

I suppose I could…

_Abby looks at her watch._

ABBY

Oh Yikes! I gotta get going! I have to go back to the shop and help Quinn close…

_She rises to go, but is also speaking urgently as Olivia walks her to the door…_

Now listen, I really stopped by to remind you how to make the apple butter—it's sugar, cider vinegar, and water, simmered overnight, with the cloves and the other spices I left for you…don't forget, OK? The vinegar is what gives it that distinctive tang….

OLIVIA

_Reassuring her friend_

I won't forget, I promise. And thanks for stopping by, Abby.

_Abby gives Olivia a quick kiss on the cheek and flies out the door. We watch Olivia close the door behind Abby and return, dispirited, to the kitchen. With leaden movements, she carries the pot from the stove over to the sink, and drains much of the water the apples have been soaking in. We see her add water, vinegar, a few spices in a measuring cup (cloves, coriander, etc.) and then take down a canister and distractedly add several heaping spoonfuls of a white powdery substance. Throughout this process, Olivia continues to look depressed. It is clear her mind is not on her cooking, but on the revelation that her old rival for her husband's affections is coming to Hallingford. Olivia stirs the mixture a few times with a wooden spoon, then lays it aside, covers the pot and places it on the stove. We see her adjusting the stove dials to leave the pot simmering over a low gas flame, and exiting the kitchen to check on her sons, _

_As she leaves, the camera zooms in to focus, first upon the flame under the pot, and then upon the canister from which Olivia thought she had taken sugar. _

_The canister is labelled "Baking Soda…"_

_We hear the ominous sound of bubbling….._

Commercial**Camera Click**Commercial**Camera Click**Commercial**Camera Click**

For this chapter (and a subsequent one), the author consulted several recipes for Apple Butter on the Internet that she will be happy to share upon request. Several call for vinegar, and others do not; my reasons for referring to those that do had more to do with plot considerations, than taste considerations, so I apologize for any offense to the culinary expertise of readers who may know better.

Once again, I would also like to take this opportunity to thank those readers who have expressed interest in this piece! I am honored and grateful for your attention.


	4. Chapter 4

**"Somewhere, in another life, in another reality, you and I are married, and we have four kids, and we live in Vermont and I'm the mayor and ...you make jam...".**

What if _Scandal_ were a 1980s-style family situation comedy, rather than a drama?

The text below is my script for the sit-com pilot. Have a look, and tell me if you think it should be optioned, or remain on the summer slush pile!

I don't own_ Scandal_, which is the exclusive property and creative achievement of Shonda Rhimes and the talented writers of Shondaland. 

As always, this author is grateful for all readers and comments, negative and positive.

**SCENE FOUR: "It's Never Too Late"**

Fitz's office.

_Fitz is alone, now, surrounded by the papers on his desk, which include the files David Rosen left for him regarding Billy Chambers and Jake Ballard and the charges against them. Fitz picks up one and begins reading it as his phone rings._

FITZGERALD

Hello?

_The camera slices to Gerald Fitzgerald II, otherwise known as Big Gerry—former Governor and four-time Senator from the State of California, and Fitz's father, from whom Fitz has mostly been estranged over the past sixteen years. Big Gerry is in the sunroom of the palatial California ranch house where Fitz grew up, siting, relaxed, on a floral sofa._

BIG GERRY

Son?

FITZGERALD

_He is in shock. This may not exactly be a phone call from the dead, but Fitz and his father have spoken very little since his mother's funeral nine years ago—and few of their conversations have ever been particularly cordial._

Dad?

BIG GERRY

_With exaggerated joviality_

How are you, Fitz?

FITZGERALD

_Warily_

I'm just dandy, Sir.

_He pauses and speaks smoothly to his father as his fingers tighten on the phone's receiver_

It's been a long time, Dad. What can I do for you?

BIG GERRY

_Genial and Devious_

Oh nothing, nothing you can do for me, Son….I was just calling to hear how you would be taking care of Mellie Randolph….

FITZGERALD

_Rolls his eyes_

"Taking care of Mellie Randolph?"

_Fitz's eyes narrow, even though his father cannot see his face_

If you mean will the town of Hallingford make sure that Mellie is given something to eat and a place to sleep, the answer is yes. She's scheduled to be here in three weeks. The Chamber of Commerce is organizing a dinner in her honor and we've booked her a suite in Hallingford's Evergreen Inn.

BIG GERRY

_In the same disingenuously genial tone_

Well make sure the little lady is properly thanked for her time! You know all this was really my idea…and Bill's, of course! Couldn't help but notice that your town needed a little lift after that paper factory closed…

FITZGERALD

_We can see the emotions play across his face; this is exactly what he suspected had happened, and it is principally the sense he had that his father is, as per habit, attempting to live his life for him, that is most upsetting_

Dad, I appreciate that….

BIG GERRY

_Cutting him off_

Now there's no need to thank me, son….Bill and I just figured that this might be a fine way to solve the little cash-flow problems your town was having…and give you an opportunity to reconnect with an old friend…

FITZGERALD

_Cutting in to address the other part of this plot that is worrisome_

"Bill?"

BIG GERRY

_With a continuation of his false, genial tone_

Why, Bill Randolph, Mellie's Dad…you remember him, Fitz…why, he might have been your father-in-law…

FITZGERALD

_His mouth tightening_

Dad, Mellie isn't an "old friend."

BIG GERRY

_Contradicting _

Now, Son…

FITZGERALD

_Firmly_

Mellie is—_was_—my _ex-_fiancé. Emphasis upon "ex." I wish Mellie Randolph well, Dad-I really, truly, do; I wish her every happiness; but Mellie and I don't socialize. It upsets my wife.

BIG GERRY

_Continuing the disingenuous, jovial, tone_

Oh, come on, now, Fitzgerald. It's been over fifteen years….

Your wife can't possibly be so insecure….so clingy…..

_And now his tone is more insinuating_

Unless she's finally realized how poorly matched you always were….and is starting to feel a little uncertain about your future together?

FITZGERALD

_With a grim smile_

I guess I have to thank you, again, Dad, for putting your cards on the table.

_Fitzgerald is angry, but he is keeping his temper_

Dad, I can only hope you haven't shared your opinion of my marriage with Mellie. Because, as great as it is for all of us at Hallingford that she's building a factory here, that's *all* she's going to be doing.

BIG GERRY

_Still disingenuous, but now solicitous_

Son, it's never too late to undo a mistake…just think how much farther your political career could go with a different partner…

FITZGERALD

_We can hear his temper snap as his voice goes low and lethal_

I've never been interested in going _anywhere_ I couldn't go with Olivia. Is that clear, Dad? And the only mistake I've made recently was taking your call!

_Fitzgerald slams down the phone. Then, with an impulsive gesture of anger and frustration, we see Fitz sweep the papers off his desk._

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Once again, the author wishes to thank those readers who are keeping up with this piece, especially ScandalMania, as well as those readers who have been kind enough to look it over, despite the fact that they don't follow _Scandal_. I am grateful for everyone's kind attention.


	5. Chapter 5

**"Somewhere, in another life, in another reality, you and I are married, and we have four kids, and we live in Vermont and I'm the mayor and ...you make jam...".**

What if _Scandal_ were a 1980s-style family situation comedy, rather than a drama?

The text below is my script for the sit-com pilot. Have a look, and tell me if you think it should be optioned, or remain on the summer slush pile!

I don't own_ Scandal_, which is the exclusive property and creative achievement of Shonda Rhimes and the talented writers of Shondaland. 

As always, this author is grateful for all readers and comments, negative and positive.

**SCENE FIVE: "Gladiators Show No Fear"**

_We are back in the Pope-Grant home. Olivia has left the kitchen, dispirited, but, as she enters the living room, she sees that, while she was preparing the apple butter, Huck Finn, who was about done for the day, had entered the living room, and begun talking to her sons, while Aleta continued to watch television. _

_Huck is now sitting at the dining table, sandwiched between Kendall and Curtis, who stand on either side of him, gazing in rapt attention as Huck draws a diagram on an open page of one of their notebooks._

HUCK

_Explaining as he draws_

Math is a code.

KENDALL

_Excitedly_

Like a spy code?

HUCK

_Turning to catch Kendall's eye as he responds solemnly_

_Exactly_ like a spy code…and those who learn the code…

_He looks at both of the boys in turn as he continues_

…become Math Gladiators.

_Huck returns to drawing his diagram as he continues_

Crack the code…and you solve the problem.

And then you are a Math Gladiator.

_Curtis pushes his glasses up his nose and leans in as Huck continues_

This is what we call "hangman's division."

_Huck continues to draw, and then turns to Curtis_

What did you say the number was?

CURTIS

375

HUCK

And we're dividing it by what?

KENDALL

25

HUCK

_Businesslike_

OK, so here we are with 375…what does the "3" mean?

CURTIS

_He scrunches up his face, figuring for a moment_

300?

HUCK

_Firmly_

Are you asking me or telling me?

_Holding the boy's gaze_

Math Gladiators show no fear.

CURTIS

_More enthusiastically this time_

300!

HUCK

_Approvingly_

That's better. ..So…now you have to "estimate."

_Confiding_

That's the difficult part…but remember…Math Gladiators show no fear…

_Kendall and Curtis are silent, figuring…so Huck takes pity and breaks it down for them a little.._

HUCK

How many "100s" in 300?

KENDALL

_Frowning_

3…

HUCK

_Encouragingly_

OK, that's good…and how many "25s" in each hundred?

CURTIS

_Enthusiastically_

Oh wait, I know! 4!

KENDALL

_Looks at his brother quizzically_

How did you know that?

CURTIS

_Explaining_

Because each 25 is like a quarter of a pizza pie? Remember? Mom explained that last week?

KENDALL

_The light begins to dawn_

Oh!

HUCK

_Prompting them now_

So how many "25s" in 3 hundreds?

CURTIS

_Counts carefully on his fingers…murmuring to himself…_

Three fours make….

_With a triumphant cry—this is his ah, ha! moment.._

TWELVE!

HUCK

_Encouraging_

Good! Knowing your multiplication tables is very important!

_Nodding, with more solemnity_

That's the knowledge a Math Gladiator needs…

_Huck writes on the diagram_

So we write 12 times 25 by the side and subtract 300 from 375. What does that leave us with?

KENDALL

_With equal enthusiasm_

75!

HUCK

_With grave approval_

Excellent. And how many 25s in 75?

_The boys are busy counting on their fingers_

CURTIS

_Another moment of triumph_

THREE!

HUCK

Excellent.

_He returns to the diagram._

So now, the last step is adding your two answers together: twelve plus three…equals?

KENDALL

_Leaning into Huck's shoulder_

It's fifteen.

HUCK

_Prompting_

And now do you remember what you do next?

CURTIS

_Pushing his glasses up on his nose again_

We're supposed to multiply the fifteen and the twenty-five, and see if we get 375.

HUCK

_Handing the pencil to Curtis and standing up to give Curtis his seat._

Try it.

_Curtis sits down, and begins multiplying; when he hesitates, Kendall tries to take the pencil from him. Huck lays a gentle, restraining hand on Kendall's shoulder._

Math Gladiators wait for their challenge.

_Kendall waits, fidgeting, for his brother to finish, while Olivia continues to watch Huck Finn handle her sons. He is doing such a good job that even Aleta has finally been distracted from her television program by the adventure of watching Huck help her brothers with their homework._

CURTIS

_Excitedly_

It's right! It's right!

HUCK

_Gravely shaking Curtis's hand_

So, you see? You've cracked the Long Division code.

You are a true Math Gladiator.

_He turns to Kendall, as he continues to address Curtis_

You should let your brother try the next one…

_Huck now sees that Olivia has been watching him interact with her sons with rapt attention. He pushes back his chair, stands up and steps away from the table to walk toward her, explaining_

Mrs. G…I wanted to let you know the lawn is mowed, and I finished trimming the apple trees…

_He gestures self –consciously, as Olivia continues to stare at him with a mixture of awe and gratitude_

…I studied a lot of Math on the inside…I was always good with numbers…and I like solving puzzles…

OLIVIA

_Finding her voice_

I can see that…

_Swallows hard_

Mr. Finn…I really can't thank you enough…you've really saved me, and I'm wondering…

_Whatever Olivia was about to say is cut off by a sudden racket, as we hear a series of explosive noises—the sound of the pot cover being tossed off the stove; of bubbling and spewing apple goo; and finally, of some of the overflowing goo beginning to catch fire on the stove. Aleta lets out a shriek at the first sound, jumping off the sofa and launching into her mother's arms; Curtis and Kendall run from the table toward the kitchen; while Olivia, now holding Aleta, follows quickly behind. _

_Huck dashes in front of them, batting his hand through what are now the beginning of smoke billows and firing missles of apple butter, making his way to a fire extinguisher on the far side of the kitchen, weaving like a commando as he runs._

HUCK

_Pulling the fire extinguisher off the wall and pulling the lever to open it easily_

Stand back, Mrs. G!

_He sprays the fire extinguisher, low and precise, at the fire, dousing it completely. Then, batting his hand again through the smoke, Huck makes his way to the stove and turns off the range._

CURTIS AND KENDALL

_In unison_

AWE-SOME!

_Still holding Aleta, Olivia leans against the sink, and slides to the floor below, overcome by the sight of the mess, and the way Huck has just very possibly saved her from burning her house down…_

ALETA

_Burrowing closer to Olivia_

Mommy! Mommy, don't cry….

_Curtis looks at his mother, and pushes his glasses up his nose as he looks around, and sees his mother's cellular telephone on the counter. _

_Picking it up, he runs into the living room, and begins to fiddle with it…_

Commercial**Camera Click**Commercial**Camera Click**Commercial**Camera Click**

**Author's Note:** Huck Finn's teaching method for long division is taken from a particularly well-presented video the author discovered on the internet, featuring the Elementary Mathematics specialist Karyn Hodgens; readers are invited to write to the author if they are interested in the specific reference. The "explosive" effects of baking soda and vinegar may have been *slightly* exaggerated for plot purposes here, but there is a website the author found discussing this chemical reaction, if readers are curious. Finally, the author consulted various websites discussing the best use of a household fire extinguisher, and can share these, upon request, as well.

Once again, I am grateful to all the colleagues who have been generous enough to follow and/or review this series, including RthStewart, Slytherinsal, OlitzMe, DayDreamLover, SpinningMoreDreams, CMW2, ShaunV76, Sabiya21, crabapplect, dafney64, taylor9110, Lonibe, jazphace, aburnett0182, Elizabeth Marshall, Morfiwien Greenleaf, and, of course, my muse of encouragement for this series, the wonderful ScandalMania. I really appreciate your interest in my work!


	6. Chapter 6

**"Somewhere, in another life, in another reality, you and I are married, and we have four kids, and we live in Vermont and I'm the mayor and ...you make jam...".**

What if _Scandal_ were a 1980s-style family situation comedy, rather than a drama?

The text below is my script for the sit-com pilot. Have a look, and tell me if you think it should be optioned, or remain on the summer slush pile!

I don't own_ Scandal_, which is the exclusive property and creative achievement of Shonda Rhimes and the talented writers of Shondaland. 

As always, this author is grateful for all readers and comments, negative and positive.

SCENE SIX: "**Life is not a romance novel"**

_We are back in the Mayor's office, where Fitz is on his hands and knees on the floor, crawling around his desk, retrieving and gathering and organizing the papers that are scattered around the floor of his office. Enter Cyrus_

CYRUS

_Looking quizzical_

Fitz, what happened? Did you open the window?

FITZGERALD

_Sheepishly_

No, I answered the telephone.

CYRUS

_Puzzled_

Excuse me?

_When Cyrus just continues to look at him, Fitzgerald leans back on his haunches and supplies a fuller explanation_

FITZGERALD

_Explaining_

And my father was on the other end…

CYRUS

Ah…

FITZGERALD

_As he returns to retrieving papers, and separating them into piles on the floor_

I was right, by the way; Mellie is coming because Bill Randolph hatched a plot with my father.

CYRUS

_Nodding_

Well, you thought that might be it…

_He looks on sympathetically, as Fitz continues to gather papers_

Can I give you a hand with that?

FITZGERALD

_Shaking his head_

No…but you can have a seat, Cy, and keep me company…

_Fitz grimaces as he reaches for a few sheets that landed rather far from his desk_

While I harvest the fruits of my bad temper…

CYRUS

_Sympathetically, as Cyrus takes his favorite seat on the nearby sofa_

Big Gerry can be very manipulative..

FITZGERALD

Where my father is concerned, I'm not sure "manipulative" quite captures it.

_Shuddering with annoyance as he thinks of it_

My father wants to work me like a puppet on a string.

_Interrupting his paper-chasing to look at Cyrus_

And the thing is, he doesn't have the hold on me he used to; not since Mom died, and left me all her money so that Olivia and I could finally build a house for our family…

_Lifting his eyebrows and becoming more agitated as he continues_

He tried every trick in the book to break up my marriage…and I finally thought I was free of him…and now this!

CYRUS

_Reassuringly_

There's a limit to what Big Gerry can do, Fitz. He may have plotted with Bill Randolph to get this factory built, but he can't make you leave Olivia.

FITZGERALD

You don't know how far he is willing to go, Cy. He wanted me to marry Mellie something awful. He was angry when I put things off and joined the navy; he was angry when I wanted to wait until I finished my doctorate….but I couldn't help myself…

_Fitz is remembering aloud now, even though he knows that Cyrus knows some of this story_

..I had always felt_ something_ was missing from my relationship with Mellie…she was great, but she never really seemed to "see" me, you know?

_He looks at Cyrus, appealing for understanding, and then his voice dips a bit, as he describes one of the most important days of his life_

…And then came that day…I was in Washington for that Georgetown summer seminar on women in the developing world…it was the hottest, stickiest, most uncomfortable day of July…and the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen stood up to make her presentation…

CYRUS

_Putting in.._

And that was Olivia…

FITZGERALD

_Nodding, reverently_

And that was Olivia. And suddenly, the weather was fine, a cool breeze was blowing, the birds were singing, and everything in my life finally made sense. And I felt like every choice I'd ever made; every place I'd ever gone; every thing I'd ever done, had led me up to that one, single, moment….

FITZGERALD

_He sits down on the floor, leaning against his desk, and waves his arms in frustration_

I've never looked back, Cy; not once! Not when my Dad cut me off, and we were living on pennies in a Washington basement; not when he didn't show up for Nicole's christening; or the twins', or Aleta's….We moved to Vermont because we thought it would be a fresh start; Olivia and I were sick of the Beltway; I wanted a life in politics, but I wanted grassroots, something that would make a difference in the lives of real people, not the kind of soulless Washington wheeling and dealing my father lives for…

_Resigned, frustrated, and harried. _

And now, despite everything I tried to do to get away from them, I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. Theone man in town I can _least_ afford to offend as mayor—the president of the local university—the institution that unquestionably employs the largest number of people in our community; controls the biggest chunk of our economy; the institution that Hallingford is most closely identified with across the rest of the state; the institution that brings in at least 50% of our tourism, and supports many of our local businesses…

_Fitz's voice rises as he continues.._

-the president of our university is my father-in-law, a man who utterly despises me….a man who left his position as a Dean at Harvard University _specifically in order_ to convince his daughter to leave me…

_When Cyrus makes a move to disagree, Fitz waves his hand for emphasis. _

Oh believe me. Cy, Pope hates me. I swear thinking of ways to end my marriage to Livvie is what gets that man out of bed every morning.

_Fitz continues in discouraged disgust as he rises to his feet and begins leaning over to pick up the paper piles he'd created and deposit them back on his desk in quick, jerky, movements_

And now I've got my ex-girlfriend coming to town, dangling the promise of at least 1500 industrial jobs—jobs that I fully recognize this town needs, badly—so that she and her father, and my father, can circle over my family like vultures….

_Fitz walks around to his chair, and sits down, leaning forward and putting his head in his hands_

CYRUS

_Smiling wryly as he commiserates_

Wasn't it President Lyndon Johnson who once said, "things could be worse. I could be mayor?" Being a mayor is a tough job, Fitz.

FITZGERALD

_Lifts his head to look at Cyrus and smiles grimly_

I'm so glad I have you to tell me these things….

_He pauses thoughtfully_

Truth is, Cy…don't ever tell my father this…but there _are_ times I dream of being President of the United States.

_Fitz takes a deep breath and continues as he meets Cyrus's eyes_

Not my father's dream, mind you—that I would have married Mellie Randolph, run for office on my military record, and been the All-American president he could have worked like a ventriloquist's dummy….

_Fitz leans back in his chair now_

No, I dream of actually running and winning on my own terms.

_He gives his old friend a rueful smile_

I'd move into the White House with Livvie and the kids….

_Fitz grins mischievously_

We'd flip a grand, graceful bird to anyone who might think that we weren't a real American family; that we didn't deserve to be together; that we didn't deserve to be _us_—

…and I'd finally have the leverage to tell my dad, and Olivia's Dad, and Mellie Randolph, to take a flying leap into the Potomac.

CYRUS

_Grins back_

Tell them to jump into the Anacostia.

FITZGERALD

_Looking puzzled_

Why the Anacostia?

CYRUS

_Explaining_

It's not as deep, and it's more polluted.

Can't you just imagine Big Gerry and Eli Pope covered in sludge?

_Fitzgerald and Cyrus laugh together at the thought and then sober a bit._

CYRUS

_More seriously_

As I used to say to my ex-wife, Fitz, life is not a romance novel.

I was gay, not straight. No matter what my ex-wife did, in the end I had to be true to myself.

You were meant for Olivia.

No matter what Big Gerry did, no matter what dreams he cherished about you and Mellie as the perfect American couple in the White House, in the end, you had to be true to yourself, and choose Olivia.

_Shaking his head_

Life is about reality, not fantasy.

_He walks over to Fitz's desk to pat his friend sympathetically on the shoulder. _

If you had become President, trust me: Big Gerry would have found some other way to try to control you—and Elijah Pope would have figured out a way to track your every move and fill your days and nights with misery….

_Shakes his head ruefully_

I worked with that man when he was still a Dean at Harvard...

Elijah Pope doesn't think he's had a good day unless he's traumatized at least one person before lunch.

_Cyrus smiles conspiratorially_

And if you ever _do _become president, I insist on becoming your chief of staff!

FITZGERALD

_Laughing_

You have a deal!

_Fitz leans back in his chair and looks at Cyrus affectionately. They are still laughing together when the phone in Fitz's office rings._

FITZGERALD

_Chuckling as he picks up the receiver_

Yes?

_The camera slices to Curtis in the Pope-Grant living room, pushing his glasses urgently up his nose, as he clutches Olivia's cellular telephone_

CURTIS

Dad? Dad?! You have to come home! Mommy's having a meltdown!

FITZGERALD

_Leaning forward as he clutches the phone_

Son? What are you talking about?

CURTIS

_Excitedly_

Mommy's having a meltdown! And there was an explosion in the kitchen!

FITZGERALD

_Sitting completely upright in his chair_

What?!

_We now see Kendall come up behind his twin, to shout into the phone_

KENDALL

Mr. Finn put the fire out! It was SO CHILL!

FITZGERALD

_Looking increasingly concerned as he stares for a minute at the phone before putting it back to his ear_

Curtis…Son…where's your mother?

CURTIS

She's on the kitchen floor.

FITZGERALD

_Springing to his feet_

She's where?! She's _What_? Don't do anything, Son….I'm right on my way…..

_He puts down the phone and turns to Cyrus, who has been watching Fitzgerald's mood change with mounting concern_

Livvie's in some kind of trouble. I have to get home…

Camera close-up on Fitzgerald's worried face

Commercial**Camera Click**Commercial**Camera Click**Commercial**Camera Click**

**Author's Note:** Cyrus's quote from Lyndon Johnson is taken from a book that partially supplied the inspiration for this piece: Benjamin R. Barber, _If Mayors Ruled the World: Dysfunctional Nations, Rising Cities _(Yale University Press, 2013).

The relative levels of pollution in the Potomac and Anacostia Rivers are tracked on a Washington, D.C., government website entitled "Green Dash Board: River Health." Readers with an interest may write the author for the reference.

Once again, I am grateful to all the colleagues who have been generous enough to follow and/or review this series, including RthStewart, Slytherinsal, OlitzMe, DayDreamLover, SpinningMoreDreams, CMW2, ShaunV76, Sabiya21, crabapplect, dafney64, taylor9110, Lonibe, jazphace, aburnett0182, Elizabeth Marshall, Morfiwien Greenleaf, and, of course, my muse of encouragement for this series, the irrepressible ScandalMania. I really appreciate your interest in my work!


	7. Chapter 7

**"Somewhere, in another life, in another reality, you and I are married, and we have four kids, and we live in Vermont and I'm the mayor and ...you make jam...".**

What if _Scandal_ were a 1980s-style family situation comedy, rather than a drama?

The text below is my script for the sit-com pilot. Have a look, and tell me if you think it should be optioned, or remain on the summer slush pile!

I don't own_ Scandal_, which is the exclusive property and creative achievement of Shonda Rhimes and the talented writers of Shondaland. 

As always, this author is grateful for all readers and comments, negative and positive.

**CLOSING SCENE: "It's Handled"**

_We are back in the Grant home, as Fitz enters through the front door, as Abby did in an earlier scene. He is entering quickly, virtually fumbling with the locks, so that Kendall and Curtis hear him and come running to the door._

KENDALL

_Jumping up and down, agitated_

Daddy! Daddy!

_Kendall is a little more excited than Curtis, but they both crowd around their father as he comes in_

FITZGERALD

_Putting one hand around each boy's shoulder_

Guys…where's your mom?

CURTIS

_In a serious tone_

She's in the kitchen.

FITZGERALD

_Questioning his sons as he walks toward the kitchen_

Is she OK? Does she need a doctor?

KENDALL

_Nodding and dancing a little, with all the excitement_

Mr. Finn said we didn't need to call a doctor…

FITZGERALD

Mr. Finn said….?

_Fitzgerald enters the kitchen and finds Olivia sitting on the floor, with Aleta continuing to huddle in her lap. Huck, meanwhile, has pulled the stove out from its place against the wall, and is in the process of dismantling the gas range pipes in the back in order to shut down the gas. _

HUCK

_Calling out to Fitzgerald as he works_

Hey, Mr. G….I hope you don't mind…I just thought it would be safer, until we can get this cleaned up, if the gas were turned off…some of the stuff in the pot caught fire…

FITZGERALD

_Slowly, precisely, seeking clarification; the first order of business is finding out what happened_

What, exactly, caught fire?

OLIVIA

_Miserably, from her spot on the floor_

The apple butter.

FITZGERALD

_Raising his eyebrows in a familiar mannerism_

The apple butter?

OLIVIA

_She raises her head to look up at her husband_

The apple butter I was making for the Country Fair we have to go to Sunday afternoon? I was going to bring apple butter for the raffle for the high school orchestra?

_She looks down at her lap_

And, instead, I nearly blew up the house…

FITZGERALD

_Perplexed_

I still don't understand…you burned the apple butter, I get that…but….

_Fitzgerald looks up and around to note spattered apple butter visible everywhere_

Why is there apple butter on the ceiling?

OLIVIA

_Keening.._

It was my fault…I…

HUCK

_Interrupting her to explain.._

There was a container of baking soda on the kitchen counter…

OLIVIA

_And now she finally bursts into tears_

I must have put it in with the apples by mistake….I thought it was sugar….

_Wailing_

I can't believe I did anything that stupid…

FITZGERALD

_Looks soberly at his sobbing wife and tries for humor as he continues to look around…_

It's not so bad, Liv…It gives the kitchen a sort of modern art look….very Jackson Pollock….

OLIVIA

_Scolding as she continues to weep_

Oh, how can you make jokes?

FITZGERALD

_Deciding that this is enough, and taking command_

OK, guys; your mom and I need to talk alone.

_Raising his voice somewhat, to get Huck's attention_

Mr. Finn, are you just about done there?

HUCK

_Pushing back from behind the stove _

Just about, Mr. G!

FITZGERALD

_Reaches into his pocket for cash as Huck gets up and walks toward him_

Could I trouble you to go into town and pick up a couple of pizzas?

KENDALL and CURTIS and ALETA

_All elated; Kendall starts jumping up and down; Aleta scrambles out of her mother's lap to run and hug her father's legs_

Yay! Pizza!

FITZGERALD

_Hoisting Aleta up into his arms and looking at her_

What kind do you want, pumpkin?

ALETA

Pepperoni!

FITZGERALD

_Looking down at his sons_

That O.K. with you, guys?

_Kendall and Curtis nod vigorously as Fitz finishes fumbling out some bills to press into Huck's hands…_

Get three, if you would, Mr. Finn; one with Pepperoni; one with mushrooms for my wife and my older daughter; and the third with whatever you're having…the least I can do after all you've done for my family today is buy you a pizza

HUCK

_Shaking his head_

That's not really necessary, Mr. G…

CURTIS

Mr. Finn said we're Math Gladiators!

FITZGERALD

_Looking down at his sons_

Did he, now?

_Turning to Huck_

Please buy yourself a third pizza—I think I've given you enough—and come back and join us for supper, Mr. Finn…

_Pauses as something new occurs to him_

Unless you had somewhere else you needed to be?

HUCK

_Shaking his head_

Oh no, Mr. G; I can stay for supper if you really want…

_Huck takes the money and leaves out the front door to get the pizzas. Fitzgerald now walks his sons and daughter through the living room and toward the stairs.._

Your mom and I need the room to have a little talk. Can you guys go upstairs and play until Mr. Finn comes back?

_He puts Aleta down, and she shoots up the stairs, with Kendall and Curtis following her. Fitz looks after them, satisfied for a moment, and then goes over and turns off the television and pushes it back beside the fireplace. _

_He then returns to the kitchen and leans over Olivia, offering his hand to pull her to her feet._

Stand up, you fire-starting woman, you…

_Olivia hiccups a little as she allows Fitz to pull her to her feet, and put an arm around her shoulder as he walks her to the sofa and sits her down. Olivia sits obediently on the sofa, deliberately not leaning into Fitz, which is his cue that Olivia is quite upset, not just about the apple butter but about whatever led her to substitute baking soda for sugar. Fitzgerald looks at her levelly_

Now, are you going to tell me what's wrong, Livvie?

OLIVIA

_Wretchedly_

I can't make jam…

FITZGERALD

_Gently ironic_

It was never my first requirement in a wife.

OLIVIA

_Persisting_

Mellie Randolph can make jam..

FITZGERALD

_Patiently, while it doesn't register, at first_

And note, I didn't marry Mellie…

_And then it does register. And Fitzgerald turns serious_

You found out about the jam factory.

OLIVIA

_Nodding_

I found out about the jam factory…

_She is finally ready to get a little more confrontational as she swings toward him_

Why didn't you tell me?

FITZGERALD

_Contrite_

I should have, Livvie; I'm sorry.

OLIVIA

_Insisting_

But why? Why didn't you tell me?

FITZGERALD

_Sheepishly_

Because I knew you'd be upset…the last time I had to deal with Mellie you spent twelve hours in the bathroom while I froze to death outside…

_Cheekily_

I didn't realize that this time, you'd try to blow up the kitchen…Ow!

_Olivia has poked him in the chest_

OLIVIA

_Indignantly_

You should have told me!

_She rises to her feet and is about to leave the room in a huff_

FITZGERALD

_Nervous and urgent_

Wait Livvie…wait one minute! Give me one minute…

_This stops Olivia in her tracks. Fitzgerald comes to her and turns her around, takes her hands in his, and looks into Olivia's eyes as he continues_

_Agreeing; gravely_

You're right, I should have told you. That's what Cyrus said, and he was right. Mellie Randolph's company proposed to build a jam factory in Hallingford. I agreed to it because the factory is going to create at least 1500 jobs in our town, jobs that will help over a thousand Hallingford citizens who were thrown out of work when the paper mill closed two years ago.

_Olivia is looking at Fitz with a mixture of attention and suspicion as he continues, urgently_

I didn't ask for it, and I wouldn't have wanted it, Livvie…Bill Randolph and my dad hatched this up as a plot to bring Mellie up here…but they were prepared to give me _everything _ I wanted…they're even going to buy the produce from local farms…and that cinched it. It's going to be tremendous for the town economically...stimulate local business; stabilize our tax base…

_As he is speaking, the part of Olivia that has always been interested in economic policy; the woman who has always been her husband's first sounding board when any governance matter is discussed, is softening at his explanation, and nodding as he finishes…_

…it was an offer I couldn't refuse….but I should have told you, and I'm very, very sorry I waited so long….

_It finally occurs to Fitz to ask_

How did you find out?

OLIVIA

_A bit sullenly with some leftover tears_

My father told me.

FITZGERALD

_Sighs…_

Your father…my father….we've always had to go to war with our parents to be together, haven't we?

OLIVIA

_Blurting it out…she was, indeed, very upset about Fitz not telling her about Mellie Randolph, but she's been harboring some secrets of her own_

I want to go back to work!

FITZGERALD

_Pauses for a minute as he looks at his wife. He's not really surprised; he had a feeling that Olivia was beginning to get restless, but he wasn't certain, and she hadn't brought it up until now_

I know..

OLIVIA

_Continuing to barrel on, beginning to pace in front of the sofa, without really paying attention to what Fitz just said; she is thinking aloud, really, as this has been going through her mind for the last month or so, ever since Aleta started kindergarten_

I'm worried about how it might affect the boys….. I know Nicole and Aleta still need supervision; but I've been thinking about how Nicole will be ready for college soon…and…

_She stops in her tracks and turns to her husband_

Wait a minute…_you know_?

FITZGERALD

_Giving his wife a level look_

I'm actually surprised you held out this long….

OLIVIA

_Defensively_

It's not that I don't love being with the kids…

But I _like _myself better when I'm working….

_Wretchedly confessing_

When I'm at home and you're gone all day, I feel like you are in motion and I am standing still…

FITZGERALD

_Smiling sadly as he turns to his wife_

That's so funny, Livvie…

I always feel like you are the one in motion…

A bit like the moon—way above me, forever in my sight, but always just a little bit out of reach…

_He smiles conspiratorially at his wife_

But it just so happens, there may be a job for you…

OLIVIA

_Looking quizzical_

What?

FITZGERALD

Remember that scum-bag Sally Langston left as Public Defender?

OLIVIA

_Nodding as she sits down again; what should incidentally come across in this exchange is that, much as Fitz trusts Cyrus and David Rosen, he doesn't always let on all he knows or remembers when he speaks with them. By contrast, Fitz is always completely candid with Olivia._

Billy Chambers?

FITZGERALD

_Taking a seat beside her_

It seems he's been indicted on bribery charges…

_Olivia looks interested _

OLIVIA

_Nods as she begins to curl into her husband as they settle together on the sofa_

You always thought he might be up to something…

_She pauses and lifts herself slight to peer at her husband…the look on his face concerns her sufficiently so that for a moment Olivia is distracted away from her own worries to focus on her husband_

Fitz…what is it?

FITZGERALD

_Shaking his head_

It's a long story, Livvie…but the short version is that it all goes back to the murder and embezzlement scandal that closed the Paper Mill…

_He sighs heavily_

And David Rosen is investigating, and they think that Jake Ballard might be involved…

OLIVIA

_Startled_

Jake Ballard!

FITZGERALD

David thinks he may be dirty…on the take…

_Fitz washes the hand that is not curled around Olivia's shoulder over his face_

The worst part is that, looking over some of the files David gave me this afternoon, the charge is sounding… plausible…

_He continues shaking his head and worrying aloud_

…I've known Jake for years….I'm not sure what to do…

_As Fitz is speaking the last lines, Olivia swallows hard, and settles back into Fitz with a guilty look on her face. We can see the wheels turning in her head, as she remembers the way Jake cornered her at the Labor Day Picnic, how unsavory the whole encounter felt; and how much she had an apprehension, at the time, that Jake had some sort of hidden agenda that she couldn't put her finger on…_

_But after a difficult day, in which her trust in her husband has been shaken a bit, Olivia isn't quite ready to tell Fitz about all this…at least not yet…_

OLIVIA

_Speaking to distract her husband, as she continues to cuddle next to Fitz with a furrowed brow_

What has all this got to do with me, and a job?

FITZGERALD

Cyrus and David Rosen need someone to take over the Public Defender's Office now that Chambers is out of commission….

_Fitz looks down at his wife with a mixture of pride and affection_

Actually, not "someone;" they specifically want _you_.

OLIVIA

_Sitting up out of her husband's embrace as she breathes in a rush of air_

Oh!

FITZGERALD

I told them that I didn't want to speak for you, but I thought you might be interested. Was that the correct answer?

OLIVIA

_Nodding slowly_

Yes, that was the correct answer..

FITZGERALD

_Continuing as he follows his wife into sitting upright_

They want you to send in your resume as soon as possible….David was hoping you could come in for an interview Monday morning…

OLIVIA

_Furrowing her brow again_

That soon? It sounds like they are going to want me to start right away…

FITZGERALD

_Agreeing_

That was the impression I got…

FITZGERALD

Cyrus said they'd be grateful even if you wanted to treat it as a stepping stone before looking for something bigger…but, Livvie, you don't need to push yourself like that if it's not what you want…I can always take care of expenses…

OLIVIA

_Quietly, looking down at her lap_

Unless you are out of the picture, and I have to support the children myself.

_There is dead silence for a moment, as it is Fitzgerald's turn to look intently as his wife's hunched shoulders_

FITZGERALD

_Just as quietly_

Do you _want _me out of the picture, Livvie?

OLIVIA

_Stiffly, with dignity_

I was thinking more about how I would manage everything if you took _yourself_ out of the picture…

_Swallowing hard, and then gets up off the sofa because she is restless with the emotional anxiety she has been feeling all day_

If you…and Mellie Randolph….

FITZGERALD

_As she starts to walk away, Fitzgerald stands up and grabs one arm to pull her back…_

Look at me, Liv…

_Olivia shifts her head away, but Fitz pulls his wife closer to him, turns her toward him, and reaches one hand out to place under her chin._

_Tenderly_

Look. At. Me.

What do we always say?

OLIVIA

_She sniffs; there is a tear rolling down one check as she replies in a low voice_

We're in this together

FITZGERALD

_Stronger; more affirmative_

We're in this together.

We don't allow the world to divide us….or hurt us….

OLIVIA

_Finishing the recitation of what has been a long-standing vow between the two of them_

…or hurt the children…

FITZGERALD

_Repeating her words tenderly_

…Or hurt the children…

OLIVIA

_Looking up at him with shining eyes_

I really don't need to worry about Mellie Randolph?

FITZGERALD

_Emphatically_

You have _never_ had to worry about Mellie Randolph.

_Fitzgerald leans in and kisses his wife gently on the lips, meeting her eyes once their lips part. _

There's only one woman in the world I love.

_As Olivia looks up at her husband, Fitzgerald leans in again for a longer kiss that Olivia returns. Her hands snake up around his neck to grasp his hair; his arms go around her and pull her in. They are building up to a passionate embrace when the door swings open and their eldest daughter, Nicole, enters._

NICOLE

_With a staccato exclamation of disgust_

Ew!

_As far as the casting of the children is concerned: while some decisions may be left to the producers about specifics, the author would like to recommend that the actress cast as Nicole Martha should be extremely pretty, and should, as much as possible, resemble her Television Mom. _

_As she enters, Nicole is wearing a white running suit, and carrying a fashionable back pack which she drops, unceremoniously, on the floor._

Don't you realize that seeing my parents make out could scar me for life?

FITZGERALD

_Under his breath_

How does she think s_he_ got here?

OLIVIA

_Under her breath, mimicking their eldest daughter_

"Double Ew!"

NICOLE

_Reprovingly_

I heard that, Dad! _Double_ Ew!

OLIVIA

_Stepping back from Fitz, a bit embarrassed _

How was your day, dear?

NICOLE

_Flouncing into one of the chairs _

Ghastly!

_Resentfully_

Sharon Raymond spent all of lunch flirting with Marcus.

OLIVIA

_Fitz looks confused; he is not up on the history of Nicole's interest in Marcus, a boy Nicole knows from the school band, in which Nicole plays the flute. Olivia, on the other hand, jumps in…she has heard all about Marcus Gates, and the odious Sharon Raymond…_

Was Marcus flirting back?

NICOLE

_Miserably_

I don't know if you could say that Marcus was flirting, exactly….but he couldn't stop staring at Sharon's boobs…

OLIVIA

_Warningly_

Nicole…

NICOLE

_Amending her words, wryly_

Excuse me…Marcus couldn't take his eyes off Sharon's "chest."

_With an angry sniff_

Her very _ample_ chest.

_Sniffing a mixture of envy and contempt_

She is definitely very…developed…

OLIVIA

_Reassuring her daughter_

Darling, any boy who doesn't appreciate you hasn't earned you…

NICOLE

_Dismissive in her misery_

Oh Mom, you _always_ say that….

_Nicole climbs out of her chair and starts toward the kitchen_

I'm going to get a snack…

FITZGERALD

_In an arresting voice that stops Nicole in her tracks_

Your mother always says it because it's always true….

_He looks meaningfully at Olivia_

A man who doesn't know when he's found the love of his life doesn't deserve to keep her.

_Nicole turns toward her father as Fitzgerald continues_

…But right now, Nicole, your mom needs your help.

NICOLE

_Looking from her father to her mother with a bit of suspicion_

What kind of help?

FITZGERALD

Your mom needs you to help her go shopping.

NICOLE

_Her attention is riveted; her father has uttered the magic word_

I'm listening….

FITZGERALD

Your mom is going to be going back to work—she has an interview with Uncle Cyrus and Uncle David on Monday. She needs to buy a new suit. She also needs a new dress….

OLIVIA

_Warningly _

Fitz…

FITZGERALD

_Finishing his sentence_

…for a party that we're all going to have to go to, three weeks from now, at your grandfather's college…

NICOLE

_In negotiation mode.._

Where are we going to go shopping?

OLIVIA

_Turning away from her husband, who is resorting to what she considers to be questionable negotiation tactics, and now facing her eldest daughter_

I was thinking we might try the outlets in New Hampshire…if we don't find what we want, we'll drive down to Boston…

NICOLE

Do I get to buy some clothes?

FITZGERALD

You can pick out a dress for the party…

NICOLE

_Driving a hard bargain_

One Dress _and _* two* full school outfits

OLIVIA

_Bargaining back_

_One_ Dress…

FITZGERALD

_The Compromising Politician_

_One_ Dress and_ one_ school outfit….

NICOLE

_Stepping forward to shake her father's hand_

Deal.

_Turning back toward the kitchen_

And NOW, I'm going to go get a snack!

_As Nicole walks toward the kitchen, Fitzgerald sits down on the sofa again, and stretches, while patting the place next to him for Olivia_

OLIVIA

_A little indignantly as she begins to curl back into their characteristic cuddle position_

Why on earth did you agree to a second outfit? You don't know your daughter, Fitz…her appetite for clothes is a bottomless pit….

FITZGERALD

_Sighing smugly as Olivia settles next to him_

You worry too much, Livvie. The important thing is, it's handled….

OLIVIA

_Shaking her head with a dubious expression_

I'm not so…

_Olivia is interrupted as they hear a shriek of dismay from the kitchen._

_As Olivia and Fitz come out of "cuddle position" to sit bolt upright, they see Nicole, backing out of the kitchen, pointing up at the kitchen celling with a mixture of horror, indignation, and disgust._

NICOLE

I am NOT cleaning up that _mess_!

_The final camera shot is Fitzgerald and Olivia exchanging glances…._

_Against the reprise of the opening music, and credits rolling for the conclusion, we see the family eating pizza at the dining table, joined by Huck Finn._

_Cue the Red and Blue Rollercoaster….._

THE END

**Author's Note:**

For this chapter, the author consulted a few internet sites about disabling gas stoves. Again, if readers are interested in these references, or any of the others (especially about long division!) they are welcome to write her for specifics.

As we roll the credits, the author would like to take this opportunity to offer her acknowledgments to the following generous readers and reviewers for their support:

Scandal Mania: Who consistently encouraged the author to develop this story, despite the author's own reservations!

Slytherinsal, Rth Stewart, Marianne Greenleaf, and Elizabeth Marshall, who also supported it, even though their own *terrific* (recommended!) work is in other areas!

And the wonderful readers and writers who follow _Scandal_ pieces and were kind enough to follow mine; review; or write to me personally: DayDreamLover; valke100; SpinningMoreDreams; jazphace; OlitzMe; Zarysmatic; Kbrow84; dafney64; sabiya21; CMW2; crabapplect; taylor9110; Lonibe, aburnett0182; and CorrineStark.

To all these fine authors and reviewers, and to any who may yet take an interest in this piece, the author wishes to express her profound gratitude, now, and in advance.


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